How bad cud it be?

Perhaps it's been a while that i was having this impression that im somehow the superior in the entire department, that when i was shown to obey instructions, i cudnt take it, how dare he giving me commands like dat, who does he think he is? i thought...

You might picture me as a child throwing tantrum, and would ask me to stop all that lamenting for COL. The thing is, it has never dawned on me that im nothing but an intern here, i thought i was making a major contribution here and the last thing they want is for me to quit my job, and fail my industrial training, for that matter...Well, as ive come to regain my composure, and sorry for losing my cool like this, nothing huge has happened actually, my manager merely rejected my request to approve on a protocol, apparently he wanted some affirmation, and he will not sign the proposal until ive got it right...oh bother..

Let's not talk bout him for a second, he gets on my nerves, and mark my word, he doesnt get along well with the rest of the co-workers as well...the other day i did mention my colleague gave us this Thai-cuisine treat right? Yeah, u got it, he wasnt invited...hahaha..everyone would talk and giggle and have fun in the office, and he was never included in the joke...poor man, u hafta gonna stop acting like a boss and really kick in with us, otherwise u r never gonna gain our respect, not that u care, that is...It would make the atmosphere a whole lot less tense if u could be as fun as our assisant manager...she is adorable...

Yesterday my plan for a movie didnt work out, instead, i had gone to my salon A.K.A Peek-A-Boo, hoping to get a hair cut. My hair has gone rather think for my comfort, i havent actually realised it until mom protested when i went back over the weekend...Alright, ive said, i'll see to it....Indeed, i have made an appointment with my hair stylist today, but while i was driving, i suddenly remembered that im not gonna make it this evening, since i hafta attend Cell Group (fyi, it is a Christian fellowship)...so i had popped in at the salon, it was Seth's day off, too bad, i said...then i saw someone gesguring to me, it was Shawn, the hair-stylist that had won some prizes in L'OREAL hair-styling competition..He asked me where im heading to, before i could tell him that Seth wasnt around, I asked if he is available, he said, Hell yeah, go and wash your hair, dude....So before i knew it, this gal was washing my hair for me....

I must really give her the credit, coz she does make me feel good, and please, by that i meant she gave me good massages on the head, it was like heaven after a hard day's work (please agree with me)...Shawn trimmed my hair a lil', since i had wanted to keep it long, then touched up here and there, and voila, it's done...to tell u the truth, i had prefered Seth's cutting, i dun give no d*** for any hair-cutting awards...While he was cutting my hair, he commented that my previous hair-cut wasnt his style, and i replied, yeah, it was seth's....and much better too, i said in my heart...

Later this evening, im gonna dine with two coursemates (not ex-cousemates, since i have yet to graduate) at SS2, they adore the diners there, i wonder why...too many ppl for my liking...after dat would be CG time...not gonna hangout tonight...im still looking forward to having a Gin party with KT et al. He has bought this Bombay Sapphire Gin ( i wish it was Chivas) and had called for a bachelor's party...we have yet to decide on a particular time and day, it was my fault, i cant make it on a Sat night, since there is Morning Sunday service...we'll come to a consensus somehow...till then...A Demain...

Je t'aime, mon amis...

Yawn...

I really dunno, is my disguise as a worker bee finally fall off, or is it seemingly too apparent that im portraying a life of im-having-a-fine-time intern in the office. Yesterday, my supervisor had walked over to my table, i havent even time to minimize my page (i was only reading on the gospel of Mary Magdalene), then he bent over to inform that he would like to make me a project manager in one of the assignment in which he is too 'busy' to look into...i had obligingly said yes, since there aint any solid reason why i'd reject....So he vaguely gave me some details and expect me to findout more regarding it...i dun even know who im s'posed to liaise with, and he had wanted me to finish the thing ASAP...my definition of ASAP is, there aint no deadline, but to work at your own sweet pace...i hope it concur with his..

Today is Wednesday again, i wonder if i'll catch another movie. But watching movie is one thing, but it is the after-movie-cum-dinner-time that will kill me cruelly, i need to dine at somewhere exclusive, which means it will certainly cost alot. Well it sometimes depend who i go out with, if that person aint doing too well financially and always insist that i'd choose the dining place, it will always end up im the who'll be paying the bill...i really dun mind giving a treat to others sometime, and i always do have enough cash in my wallet at any one time, or worst come to worst, there's always credit card as a last resort...but the thing is, as ive figured, i really do need to start saving up some money, if i were to get along with my dream of settling down in oversea, im gonna need some model, even if i were to start over...

Ive been thinking of the place i'd b visiting for quite some time now, next year, one vacation that is confirmed would be to Shang Hai. I'd be graduating and my coursemates would be going with me. In fact, we have saved up some money for it, on a monthly basis, not that going to China is gonna cost a great deal...but would you wanna ask money from your old man once u've graduated? Mom has promised to finance me to the states, the thing is, i didnt propose it, but one day she just told me that she has put away some money for me to have a vacation. She has always know that i would love to go to America, after all the stories she told me as a kid while she was staying there, living would be more appropriate, since she was a PR b4. Also, i would love to go to Australia again, dad has proposed of me going there for a period of three months to stay with my brother in brisbane after graduation, just so that i can see how hardworking my bro is...duh~ i hope he meant it, coz i really dun mind staying in Aus, and having to spend my bro's hard earned money..haha...I havent been to Brisbane, but my previous trip to Melbourne and Sydney has been wonderful...anyway, sydney and brisbane is only an hour's journey away, by flight of coz...

Talking about Sydney, i really adore this metropolis, it is so beautiful, and so full of activities, different cultures and diversities...i have fallen in love with it the 1st time i saw it..i know i will be going back there again, im determined to climb the Sydney Harbour Bridge in which i have missed it...it was too costly...in returning to australia, i would be going to New Zealand as well, since they aint too far apart....oh, all my dreams...

Europe would certainly be one of my chosen pit stop too, but i really hafta travel on a working visa if i were to go there, the conversion rate would slaughter me dearly as a Malaysian. No, i dun see travelling as a one week thing, if i were to travel, i would love to stay and blend into the society for a period of time. Thus i need to know more ppl who would love to host my stay there as a foreigner...haha...

I know, all this talk would be nothing more than a raindrop, fall of the sky and vanish upon touching the earth...trust me, i would go around planning it, but not till im grad...im doing enough research now that would put me on my foot in no time, you'll see...

Blessing in disguise...

I will not start elaborating what ive gone through yesterday, although it was somewhat a life and death issue, but ive related the incidence a thousand times, not now, shall tell u guys bout it when the moon is blue sometimes later...

After that mishap, my friends have come to pick me up at my place. We went for my fave food, American+mexican food --->Chiles...though i would prefer TGIF to Chiles, but i like it all the same....we ordered a starter of eggrolls, and i asked for myself a classic Fajitas (fyi, it's Fah-Hee-Tas)...the starter came along as heavy, coz no one could finish their mains after dat, we washed down with refillable ILT, our all time favourite (cheap, non-alcoholic, thirst quencher)..After dat i tagged along with 'em as they do their shopping, i wasnt in the mood for shopping, not after wat happened in the morning...

Then i thought i'd get a CD to cheer things up, i had wanted to get a copy of Vanessa Mae's new album 'Choreography' since its released few days back, but all the stores ive been to, it was either sold out, or they aint selling it...I went to the respective category, found her name, there it is, the only one left...While paying at the counter, i overheard this sales girl telling someone on the phone that Vanessa Mae's last copy was sold, haha....poor fella, try ur luck somewhere else...feeling lucky, my spirit was lifted up a lil'....im so easily pleased, aint i?

Shall tell u guys more on the CD when ive caught the rhythm, it is a classical approach, a medley of different inspiration from different culture....i luv her approach this time, classical has always been her forte, and gal, no, u dun sing badly, but i'd prefer you with the fiddle than ur vocal, didnt appreciate 'Subject to change' as much as the other albums...with that said, wait it go, Mae.....

TGI Friday...

Well, today is jz another day, one of those days when u wake up and u know there aint anything to look forward to, with one exception of coz, im expecting Survivor9 tonight, haha...so i was seating on my bed after slapping my hp on the face and told him (hp is a guy thing) to shut up...i spent couple of minutes hesitating if i wud take leave today, i have been thinking alot of dat issue lately, well yeah, why not? i do deserve a leave or two throughout this course of internship, they are paying me so meagrely for CingOL...i dunno wat pulled me outta bed, but as i was taking my hot shower, the thought came back...'oh, jz freakin go', i remember saying, should make the full outta this ramadan month, it's not like i get to leave earlier some other time of the year...

Slightly off noon, i found myself talking to my loved one on the phone..ive been doing dat everyday, an hour or so using the company phone, i jz hope i wont get myself into hot water by utilising company's resources, cant i make phone call? It's raining cats and dogs now, as it's been for the past few days, they said the 'emperor' has got something to do with it...ohh, wake up people, it's jz the monsoon, there aint no emperor whatsoever, stop worshipping the idols for heaven's sake...Later in the evening, im expected to be at church for some concert thingy, to tell u the truth, i really dun feel like going, the speaker can enunciate proper english, NO, im not asking her to speak the Queen's English, but it jz got under my skin for some reason...The band, well, it will be the same old 'singers', i cant imply enough to the youth leader that she really needs to let different ppl get a chance of serving, God doesn't jz listen to your beautiful voice, but your heart as well...my friend was asking me the other day if A4J stands for the singers on stage, and who was the other one to make up the '4', since it was always the three of them singing...i hafta explain to her that 'no, it stands for ALL FOR JESUS'...see where im heading?

To look things at the bright side, as ive mentioned, there is Survivor to look forward to, but even so, this season aint as good as the previous ones...the plot is expected, the twists are lame, and the challenges are getting too boring for my comfort, c'mon, put on some new and interesting games..The Amazing Race has taken its place in the 1st position now, and i jz cant wait for TAR6 to commence. Taking bout reality TV show, im hooked on to The Apprentice as well, others include Last Action Hero (or izit called otherwise? im confused with the movie with Arnold in it), Next American Model, AI, alrite MI as well (once in a while)...then there is The Mole (long time ago), fear factor....et al.

Sigh, tomorrow is a working Saturday, how sad is dat? Can't do nothing bout it, can i?

Fine Italian Restaurant...

Ever since the 1st day of Ramadan, i have been enjoying myself pretty much, FYI, most of my colleagues are malays, with exception of two indians and a singh, well, u had it, im the only chinese in the entire department, one of my kind, LOL...I suspect hunger must really play so much a role that my manager has yet to assign me new task and im really thrill...im jz hoping my supervisor would teach me new skills, i wanna learn, i dunwan no assignments! Moreover, my manager has decided that he wud leave at 5pm everyday so that he can be with his family to break fast, that's where i come in...haha...and so it goes that whenever the manager is out of the office, in five minutes time, one creepy crawlly would follow suit, and he too, will be gone in no time...

Yesterevening upon leaving office, i have called up 'a fren' and within seconds, she has said YES, she would catch a movie with me. So we managed to grab two down-priced evening tickets for Exorcist (i found out this time on wednesday is the most ideal - less ppl, cheap ticket)..The movie was somewhat freaky, i jumped in my seat several times, it must be the dolby stereo, and the hall was chilly...(im not a wuss)..all in all, it wasnt a too-bad movie, and i felt good (i nv like to waste my time on a lousy movie)..We got out of the theatre and ventured to look for a diner to chow down some food, that's when i found this restaurant...

I have always like Italian food, and it is among the top of my priority list, others include French Cuisine, japanese, western, mexican...for those who know me well, chinese food is not in the list, no offence...So without much hesitation, we went into this newly opened italian diner, first glimpse gave me good impression, it was cozy, the decor was very much italian, the ceilings those of the english cellar, the italian windows....one look at the price list, it wasnt too pricey, same as Piccolo Mondo (my fave italian restaurant), we each decided on an appetizer, two main course, and two deserts...upon ordering, the lad told us the food are meant for sharing, so we eventually cut down on a main and one desert, how large could it be, i wonder. I must say that the lads there are well trained, there aint no gals, AT ALL....so le garcon brought us this olive oil and vinegar, a typical italian dressing for our bread, the italians dun eat bread with butter, FYI...the starter went well, cheesy as expected, it came with our fettucine, i have requested a handsome helping of Parmesan, wow, u can imagine the amount of cheese we had that day...The food is good, not as good as la pizzaria at Centre point, but will still do..we wash down our food with tequila sunrise and Sex on the Beach...:) The bill came off at 120, typical...final words, i will go there again, certainly...there you go, another restaurant successfully went into my list....

Not at all restless...

This morning upon arrival at the office (more like a constraint chamber), i made up my mind that i wasnt gonna do no shits...yeah, kinda pissed that i hafta end up being an intern with nothing huge on my shoulder, not that ive always anticipated something major with giant responsibility, but hey, dun u guys let my knowledge and skills (if i have any) go down the drain like dat, arent i here to learn at the 1st place? The fact is, i know i havent been pulling my weights as well, the supervisor has once enlightened me that im to approach him should i wanna do something more than the usual routines...Sadly, im such a dilly-dally person...talking about dilly-dally, i must admit im such an ass to neglect the wound on my belly for days that it has now swelled to the extent of bloating...it all started with a lil' pim dat seemed cute, i took no care of it, thought it might eventually leave my belly alone, then it got larger, until the pressure was so intense that blood started oozing out yesterday, big time...the vampire would be so freakingly happy to lick it out, i visioned...Sorry for all dat gross description, but the swell deceased a lil' today and it aint as painful, thank God...

I browsed through many of the blogs this morning and thought some of them have really interesting story of their own to tell. I realized the beauty of blogging is simply to voice out your thoughts and your daily experience, rather than only journalling when something shocking happened in your life. Im beginning to like this online journalling and have imagined what it would be like to read through my thoughts in the future, and to reminisce the good old days, or lousy days, in that matter. From today, im gonna make it a daily habit to put down something here, as it is so essential to keep memories, our brain storage is limited, as time goes by, we tend to forget things, the major events in our life...with this so called diary, i will keep things alive...im surprised of my enthusiasm in writing diary, since i never did go past the 1st week of writing every new year when i made some resolutions...funny as it should sound, i have a good reason to believe many are like me, when laziness creeps in...Living in this cyber world make things so much easier, on one click we can send a mail to someone in another continent, not to mention gifts, cards...the pigeons have something to be thankful about not being made the mail bearer..LOL..

It has been more than a week since i last went back home to see my parents, im gonna hafta make it this coming weekend, cant lose that touch, if u get wat i mean..So much for the life of an intern, i guess im gonna hafta go through my routines now, whether i like it or not...

Thrilling...

Still trying hard to experience that major breakthrough, or didnt i try hard enough? Faith is such a misleading word, u can have faith, but yet u might not ever be granted the things that u had faith in...Timing? bullshit.....Will? since when healing is a bad idea? No, im not here to condemn things the way they are, only yesterday i was writing to say that life is a bliss, i cant tell you how unpredictable life can be, it changes all the time, u jz need to find the right attitude to tackle it, or you lose out...It's been some time when i have been dwelling in this fantasy of mine...talking about fantasy, who doesnt have one? It is through fantasy that we develop dreams, and from dreams we have a goal, an ambition that we strive to achieve...No, do not ever think that dreams are out of reach, the key is to believe...haha..(quoting from Fantasia Barrino and Mariah Carey). I have come to realize however, im gonna have to work out something for that to come true, nothing is gonna happen for me if i continue to lie on the couch, waiting...Someone once told me, reach out for the stars, amidst times of endurance...im not gonna jz reach out for 'em, im gonna be a star myself, a shining one, and for some reason, i think, no, I AM POSITIVE, that im actually gonna be that Bright Star up there, with Him helping me all the way through...We'll see bout dat...

God our healer...

Feeling somewhat spirited and every steps bring bliss to me, i cant believe the world is so much lighter today...I will not deny the verdict from the doctor has made some contribution in this cloud nine effect..."what's ur prob?", i recall him saying when i went to see him couple of days back at Damansara Specialist...'Doc, this is my deal...', and so after all the necessary checkups and 'touching', he looked at me blandly and said: 'you are absolutely fine', there aint no sign of a major catastrophe coming....Boy, was i relieved, the day was completed with some fine dining, shopping and movie...Praise Lord...So today i was doing much research on Leonardo Da Vinci's paintings, and discover much secrets behind them, mathematics wise and religious wise....apparently Mona Lisa is a drawing of himself, they said...the sudden interest in arts is becoz im currently reading on Da Vinci's code by Dan Brown, i wanted to findout more instead of letting my imagination go wild, for instance, the Museum of Louvre, the pyramid, all kind of symbols, like the Fleur de lis, the pentagram and some paintings, e.g.The vitruvious Man, Last supper, Madonna from the rocks....et cetera...Im glad i have a french background of 2nd level, coz some of the dialogues are in french, and I DO understand 'em....haha....cant wait to finish the book....:)

It's jz another day...

Yesterday after work, i was having trouble deciding if i will drop by at Damansara Specialist for a checkup or jz go back to chillout...i eventually voted for the latter, giving excuse like im too tired to entertain the doc's enquiries, im not in good shape....et cetera.. I made up my mind that there shall b no dinner, lazyness is the major factor, though i strongly denied it in me, insisting that i wanna fast for the coming youth service in church...but really, i wasn't at all hungry then, after what i would call a satisfying hearty Thai lunch, a treat from one of my colleagues...he brought me to MPH dat afternoon and recommended me some of what-he-known-as-essential-books-in-life....it was all classified under Self Help section, with some in the financial column...i cudnt even recall some of the 'famous' names he quoted that i have to embarrassly confessed of ignorance when he asked me...alright, i do remember one of them is Azizi something....then there is mind mapping thingy by tyran buzan, and this book ' rich dad, poor dad', hey, i do remember...! maybe i will consider buying it as he claimed they helped him alot in his mind development...thinking...how to invest, how to become a millionaire....yeah rite...Well so, we had a nice thai meal, i must say it was really scrumptious, judging by my fussy tastebud...we had buttered softshell crab (my fave), shark's fin soup (without shark's fin), otak-otak, mango chicken, asparagus with prawns, tom yam soup (yummy), steamed fish...there u go, a 7-course meal...the thought of the food still lingers in my mind...alright, ive gone all obssessed with the food, now let's move on...i was saying...yeah, so i got home, took a warm shower, and proceeded to get on to bed...finished the last two chapters of 'Conflict of Interest' by John Martel, then tore off the package of the renowned 'Da Vinci Code' by Dan brown...here came my aunt who asked me to join 'em for dinner, she has fried Beehoon, and i have to help her to finish it, alright, so much for the fasting..i had a talk, somewhat a discussion with uncle about Christianity...he didnt seem to get it, according to him, all religions are the same, he jz wont understand that Christianity is not a RELIGION....well, i'll keep trying...coz i was made speechless when he asked me to explain of Bush's behaviour of attacking Iraq when he is a devoted Christian...oh man, here comes the politics...LIKE I KNOW..? Duh....after that talk, i went back to my room to watch some sitcoms on TV, reading my book at the same time, during commercial la...By midnight...i retired to bed...

Im confused...

It's getting pretty intense, one moment you were alright, but b4 u know it, u were getting it again...talking bout insanity...i dunno, but this is killing me, should i jz please myself, or Him? so many times in my life i was seeking for the truth, and then i suddenly got it, the real truth, i know many ppl will be upset with it, but who cares, this is my life....

Thankful of everyday...

The past weekend has been especially meaningful to me, i have gotten to fellowship with two of my best friends after weeks, we shared news, asked bout each other and encouraged each other, i really felt rejuvenated, to think of nothing but misery the days before...Dun wanna take things for granted anymore, i wanna love my own body, my own self, we are all God's instruments, our body is His temple, we should thus take good care of it, yeah, im gonna be so health conscious from now on, it's better late than never...aye? should that mean sacrifices of junks, so be it, nothing comes b4 a healthy body...A new beginning with a new chapter in life.... :)

Gotcha

An evening of pleasant fellowship did more good to me than i cud ever imagine, always have enjoyed solitude to the extent that people started calling me loner, but the fact is, i do crave for nice company as well...u know, late night having a drink at the bar and to meet some great people, how cud i ever do without having a community life? It's time to open my heart once again and to accept new friendship and romance, i have kept things to myself for a while, and the hibernation is finally coming to an end...i toast to myself, for having such major breakthrough, it's time to move on, if u know wat i mean...

The cat is out of the socks...

What the heck is my problem? I guess i underestimated 'em to being not alert and not aware of anything...shall have to be careful with my words usage from now on, dun wanna get caught...these last couple of days weren't my idea of a pleasant day at all, no, you definitely wont feel good when u find out you are no longer medically fit, who knows if you will live to see tomorrow? No, im not gonna take life for granted, it is my everything, God has given it to me, and im gonna make sure i live it to the fullest...if u ask me, no, i have yet to experience some of the greatest fantasy in life, and im not prepared to go...but if it is destined, believe me, i have no fear of death, AT ALL...i know where im heading to anyway, and im SURE...may He lead me, and i shall respect His decision...Luv U, Lord...

Im in love....

Yeah, it has been a while since i last had a serious relationship, the last one was so good that i cud nv let it out my mind, though i havent been dwelling in it as much as i do when the wound was still young, i know im gonna start comparing my new romance with it, the key is, when will i really let go and move on? Everyone's been telling me that time is the best healing medicine, but i know better of it, is not tat im not seeing her anymore u know, still do, and twice a week too....But recently the memory is fading, this someone has jz taken me off those good old days, i begin to feel it again, what luv is, and what does it feel to be loved and to love someone...to have someone to care for and to indulge in....i dunno if this is it, im still trying to findout, but im sure i do have feelings toward her, and i know she feels the same bout me too...if time is the key to everything, then im gonna let it decide....and may God grants me this wish too, if it is meant to be....

F3 day??

The feeling is indescribable, i wasn't looking forward to anything when i woke up to find that im late for work this morning...Well, things like dat do happen at times, im jz glad it didnt occur in a frequent manner, im sure my manager wont mind an occasional late-coming-in...and so i arrived at office, log myself into the network and to the whole world, receive this F3 newsletter, F3 fans should know what im talking about...Wow, they are having this event to give us members a treat on this friday, i couldnt tell you how excited i am, and ive already decided that i'd take an extra-long lunch break to pay Pyramid a visit...and to shop to my heart's content...Wow, i really enjoy buying nice shirts, dun i?

nice song to flow around...

World Filled With Love – Craig David
Saw some pictures in the paper,of a girl I'd met the day before.I couldn't believe that hours later,I had reporters knockin at my door,But I used to dream about, the life I'm living now and,I didn't think I'd miss those things from the past,and I'm not afraid of leaving,or letting go of what I had,cause I realize that now there's no turning backCause I'm a young heart living in a world filled with love,so when teardrops fall from me like rain from above,I can brush my troubles away, know that deep down inside,I got sunshine in my lifeI used to think I could do better,my girlfriends always used to get me wrongSent distant messages, love lettersbut those kind of feelings never lasted longCause now the only love I find's within a castle made of sandand when the tide goes out it's swept awayThough I got my peace of mind,and time is firmly on my side,and through the bad times I can safely say...That I'm a young heart living in a world filled with love,so when teardrops fall from me like rain from above,I can brush my troubles away, know that deep down inside,I got sunshine in my life.Ah...now that love's here to stayI've found a better day to brush my troubles awayCause I'm a young heart living in a world filled with love,so when teardrops fall from me like rain from above,I can brush my troubles away, know that deep down inside,I got sunshine in my life.I'm a young heart living in a world filled with love,so when teardrops fall from me like rain from above,I can brush my troubles away, know that deep down inside,I got sunshine in my life.

Deja vu

It's been happening pretty much these days, i dunno, am i having a premonition or something? Or did i jz let my imagination ran wild...I believe something happens without a reason, things are not always based on butterfly effects, if you get what i mean...somehow, ive learned the ultimate lessons in letting flow in its natural ways, why hinder its formation when nothing good could possibly drawn from it? We are who we are, we dun hafta constantly change the way ppl think about us, why do we even bother what they think in the 1st place? Over the years, i realized ppl dun tell you exactly the things u wanna hear, and the things they do tell you often do not come from their hearts...it's a manipulation, they are trying to play around with your feelings, it's all a mind game, at the end of the day, whoever stands up being himself wins...i s'pose im starting to babble a lil', it must b the over-dosed caffeine...guess im gonna call it a day...shall be revealing much more stuff about life and about the forbidden truth in times to come...

Where the incredible journey of a lifetime unveils...

Well, this is it, my first ever attempt in creating something kewl and totally irresistable, somewhat like a constant crave for something that has lingered in your fantasy forever....As you walk with me through this magical runaway, i will promise a truly mesmerizing experience that will take your breath away...now fasten your seatbelt, i'm ready when you are.....let the journey begins...